4.21.2014

In your face Cuteness

 I was looking through all our photos for a school lesson and found these handsome little guys. School needed pics of family so they can work on identifying all of us. Which I think that lesson will be mastered in no time...

Both boys are doing so great in school and just blowing my mind with how smart they are. You can never underestimate a child with special needs.... you will look like a fool. 

Monday.... eh....Monday.

We are one year into this Autism business and while I don't feel like some expert in it I do know the other side of diagnosis, It is different I won't lie. I feel as though the door to typical has been shut but other doors are opening. It's not the end of my world...nor theirs. A diagnosis, to me, was like being handed a road map that I would not otherwise have. See that road? That smooth, recently paved one? Yeah, that's not your road. Your road is that one over there to the left with pot holes and dips and climbs and sometimes missing sections that you have to jump across. 

OMFG He ATE 4 pieces of Broccoli!!
Over the last few months I have been asked about my sons and their diagnosis... "How do you know?" or "What are the signs?" The thing is is that I don't really know exactly. I just had a gut feeling and it stayed with me a while...til the doc said "Yes, they do." My boys don't flap and they don't wave their hands in their face. They are verbal and they will look you in the eye....not for long but they will. So I can't sit there and say who is or isn't. I can't say that this one thing is a for sure sign. I wish I could. I have even been questioned about whether or not it was an error on the doctor to say my sons are Autistic. The thing is...I know they are. I am ok with it. 
He demolished it.







Yes, some days....ok a lot of days suck because of Autism. It is this other being in our lives that can ruin a good day. But it doesn't ruin the whole day. Nope, a simple nap or drive in the car can set the reset button. It is hard to remember the good stuff of the day when it ends on a crappy note. But when I hear from my sons school that they are plowing through their lessons and impressing, well that makes me happy
and hopeful for their future.

Even McQueen needs a little help
So to a mom that is about to enter that door of an evaluation for their child....I can't say much to ease your worries. I can't make that knot in your gut go away. But when you come out of the door with your child and your worry was confirmed, know that it will be ok no matter what....it really will. You just have to wipe the board clean and make new dreams, new hopes and a new plan.

That plan can still be full of hopes and dreams. It can still be rewarding and exciting. I won't ever promise it won't be hard and that you won't shed tears. You will give up one evening and wake up knowing that you can't. You wake up and get moving in spite of feeling defeated the minute your eyelids rise.

Happy Easter
Still a win
You won't be perfect, you will make errors, you will yell and you will lock yourself in the bathroom once or twice. It's ok....It is ok to be imperfect and raw. Your kids, my kids need to know that it is ok to be imperfect and make mistakes....to be different and to be you. I hope my kids learn that they are so much better than me.

So when you hear the yes, go ahead and mourn the loss of a smooth road and cry. Be mad... but know that your kids need you more than ever and are going to follow your lead. So pick yourself up off the bathroom floor and move. Get your resources in line. Talk about it. Ask questions. Hug your beautiful children and show them how great being different (not less) is.

Ausome Hugs,
Mom