Since April's release from
Ayden is going to be a fun kid for sickness'. He hates the tastes of the meds. HATES. So I have to really con him to take the
Last night I had Ayden in the ER with a 105ºF temp and rising. Some kids have seizures at this point so I was freaking out. After some wait time and a chest xray...we were sent home with the word "virus" again. I was a little disappointed as I had been fighting fevers for 5 days. Gray was on the mend aside from some watery diapers and a nice rash to show for it. But Ayden just gripped onto the illness one more day.
So today is Mother's Day....yeah and? Both boys have snotty noses and a cough. Gray coughed so hard he puked...I am so glad I bought a steam cleaner when I found out I was having two. So not so sure today's plans will happen....we shall see.
Building immunities is some rough business. I am beefing up our herbs now as we speak. Elderberry and Samento are on their way.
Here is a good article on having NICU babies and being their Mothers. Came out today for Mother's Day. Mother's Day difficult for NICU Parents.
Last Sunday I watched an Oprah show... Life Class Fatherless Sons. What a wake up call....well, I knew it wouldn't be pretty but it amazed me seeing 150 grown men sitting there shaking their heads "yes" with tears in their eyes as they described the pain of not having their father around. Some didn't have a father at all and some had step dads ..some even adopted by their mother's husband. They all still had an emotion about their biological father who abandoned them. Was I seeing my sons future....I hope not but time will only tell.
I wont quote statistics but I heard stories of emotional instability and financial failures. I heard stories of gangs and jail time. Inadequacy in the work place and in relationships with wives and their own children. A lot of the men said their mom did everything she could and it still wasn't enough. So Oprah really knows how to do Mother's Day up.... A show about the single mothers of fatherless sons.
While I hoped a certain someone would watch this show I know he probably didn't ..he is too much of a coward to face reality, to face his mistakes. He can post on his Facebook how he is going to be a better man and help.... yada yada yada. Its all show. He did it to make himself look and feel better.If its a status update on Facebook it must be true....right? But actions speak louder than words. Of course the status about having sons was deleted. But my sons picture remained his profile picture. Oh and now I am blocked. LOL.
A father who left his wife and daughters gave the excuse that he felt inadequate and not worthy. COPOUT! How selfish of someone to abandoned their children for that reason. GET A THERAPIST!
One thing that I pray is not genetic is the notion that if you don't acknowledge it then it never happened....If I don't say anything then I am not to blame, If I don't reply then I never got it. If I delete it then I am not held responsible. I am seeing this is a paternal trait. Deny deny deny. If I don't acknowledge they were micro preemies and almost died then I don't look like the biggest jerk for not being there. If I don't acknowledge the Child Support piling up then I don't have to worry about it because there is someone to cover my way and I can sit on my butt doing nothing and go on vacations....even go on one while my sons are suffering in the NICU. Deny Deny Deny....out of sight out of mind.
I reached my BS limit and needed to purge.