We were out eating with my parents the other night and it was suppose to be like any other night we have eaten out with my parents. We were seated next to a table with 3 older people...you could make the safe assumption they were grandparents. Now, I am use to the attention that comes with have two kids who look exactly the same. I have gotten use to the usual statements of "double trouble", "you have your hands full". But this night there was a first and probably the first of many.
"Where's your Daddy?"
I froze and couldn't say a word. The boys just looked at them in confusion. Then I hear from one of my parents "He's at work." Now this worked in moving on in the conversation but I was left with the notion that I need to get a better response to this before the boys really know what it all means. And an answer that won't lead to more questions or pity. My boys can't be apart of that...their hearts would break every time.
Fast forward to today.
We are running late, as usual, to get to school and I am blindsided again but this time it came from A, "Where's Daddy Mom?" I am now in a panic because how I answer this is something I have to stick to. My sons have really great memories and they script most conversations. I am sure they are learning about Mommies and Daddies at school. So here this Grandma has put into my sons head this question that they are now going to script to me at random times.
Definition of Scripting
Verbal scripting can be defined as repeating a word or phrase multiple times. Verbal scripting goes hand in hand with echolalia. Some children repeat
So what did I say..... I said I didn't know. They seemed satisfied with that answer but one day they will not. I can't be mad at this lady for planting this seed. She didn't know all that we had been through. I knew this day would come I just thought I had a couple more years. It broke my heart today because I know what it all means. I wish I didn't. I can try and be casual and numb to it but the fact still remains that my sons other parent is not around by choice. That word "choice" cuts deep with me. I still give him the "choice" to not be around and one day I won't be able to.
I just keep reminding them that they have me and when I tell them that I am enough I hope that one day I can convince myself of that.